Get a Life part 2

The conversation I had last week with the wrong number reminded of this genius that called about 2 years ago.

Me: Hello, XYX corp, this is Joe may I help you?
Caller: What company is this?
Me: XYX corp may I help you?
Caller: What are you selling?
Me: I’m not selling anything you called me.
Caller: This number was on my caller id so I want to know who it is.
Me: I just told you what company this is.
Caller: What do you sale?
Me: We don’t sale anything to the general public we sale corporate communication systems for large companies.
Caller: Well, put me on your do-not-call list.
Me: I don’t have a do-not-call list since I’m not a telemarketer.
Caller: We’ll someone from your company called and I want you to put me on your do not call list and if you call back you can be fined and I’ll get $500 (At this point I decided that it was time to have a little fun)
Me: You called me so I want you to put me on your do-not-call list.
Caller: I’m not a company
Me: You called and asked me for something, that is soliciting, have I asked you for anything?
Caller: Someone from your company called.
Me: And what did they ask you to buy?
Caller: I don’t know I wasn’t home. (I guess telemarketers wait until you aren’t home to call and get you to buy things. I remember this business model from college, its called bankruptcy)
Me: Thank you very much good-bye (I decided this mouth breather was just wasting my time and the earth’s oxygen and just to let him off easy)
The phone immediately rings again and I can see it’s the same caller.

Me: Hello, XYX corp may I help you?
Caller: You hung on me before I could give you my do-not-call information.
(Okay so this guy just doesn’t know when to quit. At this point I don’t care if I do get a pink slip it’s time to have some fun with this guy.)
Me: Wait a minute, you just called me and I told you to put me on your do-not-call list so you owe me $500 dollars. Can I get a money order for that? (You know this guy has never bounced a check)
Caller: I’m not a company and I’m not selling anything. (Hmmm I see, can you add 5 + 12 or should I wait for you to take off your shoes?)
Me: I still asked you to put me on your list and you obviously didn’t so I want my money.
Caller: I told you I wanted to be taken off your list but you didn’t take down my number.
Me: We went through this during the last call. I haven’t asked you to buy anything have I?
Caller: Well someone called here.
Me: I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that you don’t have any friends and the only people that would call you want something from you.
(The guy then decides to act pretty tough by taking this to the next level)
Caller: I want to speak to your supervisor. (Ohhhhh I’m in trouble now!)
Me: I don’t have a supervisor (I’ve always wondered what would happen if someone said that. What is the caller going to do?)
Caller: I want to speak to someone else. (You have to give the guy points for thinking of a different angle)
Me: No.
Caller: I demand to speak to someone else. (Good, hang up and call 1-800-crybaby)
Me: No, I don’t think so.
Caller: What is your name?
Me: I gave it to you the first time you called if you weren’t paying attention I’m not going to repeat it. What is your name?
Caller: I don’t have to give out that information.
Me: So what make you think that I have to give out that information?
Caller: I’m tired of this, I WANT to speak to someone else! (He’s pretty mad at this point I decided to see how far I could push him)
Me: I don’t like the tone of your voice, besides I’ve got three other idiots who saw a number on their caller id that was wrong and those geniuses are waiting for a turn to call me and get a verbal beating.

-Click-

I wish I could say this stuff was made up, but you can’t write fiction like this.

In other news….

I did the Hell of the North race Saturday it was my first road race so I wasn’t expecting much, I did learn that in road racing you always need to be ready for an attack. I did the last lap alone while learning that lesson.